The Best Way to scare an Elephant

A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window.

"Excuse me", said the woman sitting next to him.

"But, would you mind explaining why you're doing this?"

"It scares away the elephants," replied the drunk.

"But I don't see any elephants around here," said the woman.

"Effective, isn't it?" crowed the drunk.