Funny Definitions about People

• Actor -- A man who tries to be everything but himself.
• Adult -- A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
• Advice -- The one thing which is "More blessed to give than receive."
• Average Man -- One who thinks he isn't.
• Bank -- An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence to show that you don't need it.
• Bigamist -- One who makes the same mistake twice.
• Bore -- One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
• Bridge -- A card game in which a good deal depends on a good deal.
• Broadway -- A place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
• Budget -- A method of worrying before you spend instead of afterward.
• Childish Game -- One at which someone beats you.
• Civilization -- A process of creating more needs than means to supply.
• Committee -- A body that keeps minutes and wastes hour.
• Conservative -- A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
• Creditor -- A man who has better money than a debtor.
• Criminal -- One who gets caught.
• Courtship -- The period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better.
• Critic -- A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
• Diamond -- A woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.
• Economy -- Denying us a necessity today in order to buy a luxury tomorrow.
• Egotist -- A man who tells you those things about himself which you intended to tell him about yourself.