Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Funny Definitions about People

  • Actor -- A man who tries to be everything but himself.
  • Adult -- A person who has stopped growing at both ends and started growing in the middle.
  • Advice -- The one thing which is "More blessed to give than receive."
  • Average Man -- One who thinks he isn't.
  • Bank -- An institution where you can borrow money if you can present sufficient evidence to show that you don't need it.
  • Bigamist -- One who makes the same mistake twice.
  • Bore -- One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.
  • Bridge -- A card game in which a good deal depends on a good deal.
  • Broadway -- A place where people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't need to impress people they don't like.
  • Budget -- A method of worrying before you spend instead of afterward.
  • Childish Game -- One at which someone beats you.
  • Civilization -- A process of creating more needs than means to supply.
  • Committee -- A body that keeps minutes and wastes hour.
  • Conservative -- A man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
  • Creditor -- A man who has better money than a debtor.
  • Criminal -- One who gets caught.
  • Courtship -- The period during which the girl decides whether or not she can do any better.
  • Critic -- A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches.
  • Diamond -- A woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.
  • Economy -- Denying us a necessity today in order to buy a luxury tomorrow.
  • Egotist -- A man who tells you those things about himself which you intended to tell him about yourself.


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